Moscow II

I just returned from a ski race/concert in the middle of Moscow...actually it was right outside of MGU and one of the only and highest artificial hills in the world...it was really entertaining and I froze my a$$ off. The weather has been really nice for the past few days - New Year's didn't get to less than zero and last night the clouds broke, so today was sunny, but cold. And tonight it was -10 at the hill...pleasant...really.

Just a few notes from the event which was culturally significant in someways...but first to rebut David, who though it would actually be difficult to make it to the event - it was free, many people were there, and somehow I pushed my way to the front. The first thing I noticed, excepting of course the audacity of building a fake ski hill in the middle of a megapolis, was the two types of commentators that the Russians have...and they really do only fall into two categories. The first category constantly feels the need to make exceptionally mundane comments ranging from those that would make the most feel-good coach vomit and those that are unnecessarily cruel. Of course, the main themes of the comments is Russian victory (a rare rare happening), the significance and glory of the event that Russia/Moscow has the honor of hosting, and the incredible potential of Russian athletes. The second kind of commentator is bitter and political - today he felt the need to chastise the Olympic committee for choosing Sochi (and it being behind schedule) when Moscow already has all the facilities built...he's right...but the idea of a Winter Olympics in Moscow is also something rather laughable...especially if they decided to build a fake Super G course etc.

Second thing, Russian popstars suck at lipsynching. It's pretty well known that popstars tend to be genetically gifted dancers, who dance significantly better than they sing, and generally are incapable of holding pitch (all thanks to the miracles of modern record production). But Jeebus! Is it that hard to put the mike to your mouth and move your lips whilst dancing??? Moreover, why on earth actually permit the performers to sing when it's already obvious that it will sound awful!? Both of these idiocies occurred today.

Third, not surprising, but the anti-Americanism in the crowd was measurable...many boo-ed when Bodie Miller or Legetty(sp?) raced and they cheered heartily when Miller screwed up his semi-final run. I mean...I get it...they're badly informed because the government wants them to be while we're badly informed because we have atrocious journalism and misplaced bleeding heart sympathies...almost categorically. I dunno, I don't really get uncomfortable in those contexts simply because I speak Russian and think when people don't hear me speak I pass for a Russian...albeit a rather strange one.

Fourth, certain people don't seem to understand the way crowds work...that is you try and work your way to the best possible spot and people cluster together (especially when it's below freezing). This jerk/fool behind me vacated his spot because he was 5'2 and couldn't see over the heads of the 5'6 Russian (suffering from the malnutrition of a diet rooted in simple carbs and fat), and when I - freezing - stepped into the freshly empty space he informed me that he had "specially backed up and left that space for a better and my 6'1 height was ruining all of his master plans!" Now, I'm a bit of an unpleasant/inconsiderate person in these kind of situations and it seems like the moral thing to do would be to oblige him and his vertically challenged associates, but I can't avoid the conclusion that this guy was an idiot...or an idiotic holdout from the USSR. I mean crowds in Russia work a little differently than the US - it's frowned on here to push your way through at all costs - you're expected to respect the weak people who arrived several hours early and leave perforations in front of themselves. That is, they don't understand EFFICIENCY - you know...that thing we tried to help them with back in the 90's. Anyway, the reason I wasn't a jerk and rather this quasi midget was - he was occupying space that 8+ people might have occupied. In conclusion, the visibility is about the same from 70+m from the spot we were at, so please, suck it up and stop thinking like an egotistical communist or idealistic capitalist...this is Russia goddammit, the strong here survive. For this reason, I'm glad that I'm a fairly large male.

Actually, this wasn't my first experience with this idiotic communist/lemming attitude toward crowds and entitlement today. When I was coming home in the pedestrian underpass they had two-direction traffic that was wall to wall. I noticed that there was extra space where the directions merged and I quickly occupied this space and started moving about 5 times faster than those around me, a few Russian girls noticed the efficacy and followed in my wake, but like all things the space eroded away and I soon slowed to the normal pace, but exploiting opportunities as they came along. Eventually, some Russians started yelling at me because it's more fair/efficient if we all move at the same speed...but at the same time if I cease to take up space more quickly than the average person, then over the same amount of time isn't there generally more space over that time period and the group moves faster? This is sort of a weird egotistical argument that may be wrong, but there are precedents. In the book Traffic, the author describes the benefits of inconsiderate late merging compared with polite early merging, the basic idea is the employment of the wasted space increases the average speed of the group of the relevant distance (there's a few more ideas there but I'll leave them be). Anyway, Russians in general need to walk faster...especially the groups of 2 women who take up the majority of the sidewalk.

Finally, how on earth is it possible to lipsync badly...I mean Russian pop is bad enough, but there were moments during the concert when the singer forgot to put the mike to her mouth or...they thought...let's let them actually sing for a few measures - at which point they promptly lost pitch and created chords unpleasant enough to cause me pain...and my musical ear sucks.

Oh...the unexpected fireworks mid race were great...I don't know what happened but randomly they shot off a bunch from beneath the hill, it's new year's so it makes sense but i couldn't determine whether it was a prank or a technical malfunction (which there were many)

Moscow

Now that David headed of to Finland, I'm on my own hanging out in Mocsow until Sunday...but it's sort of a strange city...I mean it makes me uncomfortable at times. First off on New Year's Eve David and I had some time to burn and went to this place called the All-Russia Exhibition Center(the metro stops have it as the All-Coyuz Economic Exhibition Center), it's on about the scale of...I dunno Frontierland in Disney (maybe a bit bigger) - it's got rides and fountains that presumable function in warmer weather and a bunch of over the top Soviet exhibition pavilions which are supposed to contain various types of exhibitions (one advertised live sharks!). But inside of all these quasi-beautiful buildings the exhibitions take up only 20% of the used space, rather cheesy strip malls dominate! We even found one selling cowboy boots and Confederate flags! In it's defense it has Gagarin's rocket...which is badass.

Other strange things involve Russians asking me for directions (which happened about 5 5 times today) and the Pushkin Museum - which has all the classics of Western art in it...in copied format. So I no longer need to go to Italy see Michelangelo's sculptures and such.

Moscow police are fun too! They stopped me for taking a picture of the US Embassy - apparently illegal - which in retrospect I ought to have expected...but so far they haven't demanded bribes (probably because I've got a nifty passport and am not effectively mute)...which saves me money. One of the guys in our hostel claims he has to bribe everybody...but he's short, badly shaven and doesn't speak Russian...so it's his fault entirely.

Anyway, Happy New Years' everybody!